Who do you need to forgive?

Think about it.

Are you the kind of person who holds grudges? Or even if you are not, take a look at your life right now. Sometimes, the reasons we can’t move on are because we have to forgive a person, a situation, or ourselves. If you want to move on from something, if you want to ‘let it go’ and leave it in the past, then sweetie, forgiveness is your go to. And honestly, you’ll have to get used to it. You’re going to have to forgive yourself more than any other person in this life, I can guarantee you that. Because we’re all human, and our minds do dumb shit, and sometimes we do dumb shit that we’re not proud of, or we reacted to something in a way that we didn’t have the resources or the know-how to react to in any other way.

Like even with writing this blog- for me, it gets me out of my comfort zone, and what I call the ‘predator’ part of my psyche kicks in with the anxiety and the intrusive thoughts… to the point where sometimes I’m like ‘hmm, maybe I should just watch a Youtube video instead and call it a night.’ Like no! This is such a small example, but even something as simple as your mind acting out of old patterns the second you get out of your comfort zone and practically sabotaging you in the process is something that you might have to forgive yourself for. That part of your mind, the lower ego or the primitive part, it’s just trying to keep you safe, and its just acting out in the only way it knows how. I mean I’ve definitely self sabotaged in much larger ways in the past due to my anxiety, and I can’t believe its taken me months to get to today, where I finally forgave myself for it. I sat down and wrote myself a long ass letter, free style, of all the dumb shit I did/thought and forgiving myself for all of it.

I’ve done this for other people in my life too, and sometimes I keep the letters, and sometimes I burn or bury them depending on whether I feel they need to be released or not. And at the end of the letter, I always make sure to thank them (or myself) for acting the way they did, and why that actually benefited me. Because there’s lessons to gain from everything, and I really think that we can choose to look at every single person in our lives as a teacher. It may help to let that person or that negative thinking cycle you have go if you can transmute it into a learning experience, as something you have actually gained from. That will allow you to fully let it go so it won’t bug you to anywhere near the same extent anymore.

So, who can you write a letter of forgiveness to, even if it’s just yourself? Well, I say ‘just’, but you are the most important person to forgive. I promise you, if you do this properly, and really feel into it, you will feel a sense of closure, and with that comes peace. If you’re really struggling to move on from something, maybe this will help you finally put a lid on it or release it so it stays in the past and stops interfering with your present and your future. And hey, if writing’s not your thing, something that might help is a metta meditation. You can find one on YouTube, and it’s basically you sending love and peace and happiness to the people in your life, including yourself, and also someone you have had difficulty with. If you struggle to forgive in the first place, maybe that would be helpful to even let you enter the potential for it.

Just know, that whatever someone may have done to you, or whatever you have done to yourself, or to another person that you’re not proud of, we are always just doing the best we can in every moment. There’s always a deeper reason behind the way people act, whether it was how they were raised, or them letting external events get to them and then taking it out on you (if they had a stressful day for example). I think the less you can take personally, the better, no matter how personal something might feel.

If you want to forgive someone else, having a conversation with them and getting their point of view may be of use, since understanding why people behave the way they do will allow you to get past the victim mentality. But if that’s not really an option, then writing the letter or doing a metta meditation, or even an EFT tapping video on forgiveness will help you to actually let that go. Sometimes all it takes is looking at things from a higher perspective, and choosing to be the bigger person. Sometimes it takes thinking about your own peace of mind, and forgiving someone else for you, not for them. Sometimes forgiveness comes in layers, and takes a lot more than writing a single letter to feel into fully.

Alright, I hope this helped you! May you be filled with all the forgiveness you have the capacity for right now, and all the peace your heart can hold🤗

Love,

Lanie ❤️

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