Why do you doubt your beauty?

Why do you look in the mirror, and start to automatically judge and criticise what you see? Its like you forget the big picture and zoom straight in on the little things you don’t like about yourself, things you consider to be flaws but I bet you nobody else would even blink an eye at. Or maybe you look at your face or your body and feel ashamed, or just plain ugly. Why do you doubt your beauty? 

If you were another person, and you looked at yourself from that persons eyes, I can guarantee you that you would not even see the things you dislike about your body. Like today my sister put on this dress and she looked like a god damn prom queen, like some kind of dark fairy princess godess thing, and I was like “oh my gosh you’re so beautiful! We should do a photoshoot.” And since she agreed I was here taking these photos for her and I was like “you’re going to love these you look gorgeous”, because she truly did. But what does she do the moment she looks at them? She goes “ew, I can’t even look at that.” Swipe. “God I look so fat, what is that angle?!” And I’m just standing there next to her like you’re a literal blind idiot I cant believe you’re trash talking yourself like this. 🤦‍♀️ 

And yet I realise I do the exact same thing. And so do so many other people, male or female. But I do feel like its more of a thing for women to do. Also while I’m on the topic of gender is it weird that I have to have some kind of external male approval to think I’m beautiful? Its like I can tell it to myself all I want but unless some guy hits on me or tells it to my face I’m like yeah, its all in my head. Like why do women feel like they need male approval to feel beautiful? Why is that even a thing? Why can’t we just know, deep down and on surface level that we are truly beautiful even if not a single person on this earth tells us we are? Because guess what, beauty is subjective. If you were an alien, and you came down to earth you wouldn’t be like ew that human has stretchmarks or ew what are their thighs – like no! That alien would just see a body, amongst all types of bodies, and if they had any sense of what beauty was then they’d probably just see them all as uniquely beautiful. Because beauty is subjective, and beauty is unique, and so bodies are just bodies regardless of what fashion trend is hot right now and what other people in the culture have to say about them.

Like you should own your flaws and – actually scratch that, fuck flaws you are flawless like I don’t give a shit what kind of weird mutations you have if any (oh god I’m really sorry if someone has 6 fingers and I hit a nerve), like you’re god damn gorgeous and don’t you dare let a single person tell you otherwise. if they do, they probably have their own insecurities about that exact part of their body or used to in the past. Whatever the case, their opinion does not have to impact your life, or your self esteem in any way, so screw that shit and continue being you! 

Just please be more kind to yourself and instead of looking in the mirror as if you were a food critic or something, try to see your beauty. What about you do you truly like, and think of as beautiful? If you were to look at yourself from someone elses perspective, how would you view your body differently? Have you internalised views from your mother who was insecure about her body in some way, or through the media who propogate a certain body type? If you’re not sure, just imagine you live on a desert island with no one else there. Would you feel confident going around naked? Would you be ashamed and be like ew “X” about me looks weird I feel awkward wearing these clothes. Like its mostly about other peoples perception of you right? Except you don’t even know their perception, you can’t read their mind, and even if you could 9 times out of 10 they aren’t even critiquing your body in any way. So I guess its kinda not giving a shit what people think about you in a way too. I wrote a post called “Body love” which kinda talks about this in more detail with some tips on how to reprogram your mind if that’s what you think you need.

Okay, I hope this helped somebody! You are beautiful and loved and appreciated more than you will ever know.

Love, Lanie❤️

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