You don’t have to be a martyr

You know whats really weird? The way I feel like I cant stop helping people, to the point where it becomes self sabotage. Because I base my worth off of helping people – its like why the f am I here if I’m not serving some kind of purpose?

So to me its just normal to give until I feel burned out or super tired- that basically just means I’ve done a good job. But you know what, I’m starting to realise that I shouldn’t have to live my life this way! I mean, bout damn time, right?

Like why cant I help people, then stop when I know I’m about to cross over some invisible boundary that separates my needs, from self sacrificing to fulfil someone elses? Like its literally not even necessary. In fact, its downright unhelpful, not only to myself but to them also: you can’t give properly if you have little to nothing left to give. Its as if I feel like I’m a good person if I help until I’m tired; its like I’m waiting for someone to give me a gold medal and a pat on the back for my good work. But like honey, no. Just no.

I’m going to vow right here right now not to cross those invisible boundaries. I have to be strict with myself. And I know other people struggle with this same thing. If you ever feel like your worth is based off of giving to other people, lets set that one straight right now: its not. You are worthy just cause you’re breathing. Like honestly, you could live your life up on a fricking desert island, not helping a goddamn soul, and guess what, you’d still be worthy. And you know what there are poeple who are doing way less than you, who are literally living the best life ever just because they believe that’s the way it should be. So why cant you also have that mentality? Is there anything wrong with that? Cause sweetie, you really don’t have to self sacrifice anymore if thats how you’ve been living your life. If you have an insane amount of responsibilities, its okay to get help. If its all on you, and you just dont know where to stop, notice your energy levels throughout the day. Can you take a break? Can you say no to someone if they ask for your help but you’re really not in the mood? Thats not being selfish, that’s knowing your worth. That’s having clear boundaries that people can respect, that people will learn to not cross if you keep asserting them. You don’t have to live your life giving and giving and giving, and being like oh I don’t need anything in return, its whatever – like no its not whatever, you deserve to receive. You deserve other people to give to YOU.

So sorry I know this was a lil rant but it annoys me because I am totally this person and I don’t want to be anymore. And I also really hope that if you are this person, or even along those lines, that you get clear on that cut off point and start living for you, and not to help others. Because you deserve that!

Thank you for reading I hope this helped! You are beautiful and strong and worthy, exactly as you are right now – remember that.

Love, Lanie❤️

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